Ramblings....

I have been without much to say lately...Things are good, life is normal...(you know, as normal as it gets). Easter Sunday was great, we attended service in Charlotte and it was awesome...it was very convicting. In my mind and heart I have thought and even desired for us to be called to missions abroad. There are a couple of specific places, but no number one preference. Service really brought to light that the whole world is in need of Christ. That we have been called to share Him and the gospel. And that means right here. (not that I haven't heard this before, it just hit a different chord) In a way I have rested in the fact that Sal is still in school so in some way I am off the hook...right? No... It also seems easier to think about sharing Christ in places where people have so little that the hope of Christ and the gospel is better received? Maybe? I am sure that is not always the case, but in my head I had created this pretty little picture of missions abroad being easy...that all people that heard the good news would naturally accept it...
Here, where we are so self sufficient and have very little need to depend on God for our physical needs, it seems to me so much harder for people to see their need. Even as a Christian who totally understands her need for a Savior and the guidance that only Christ can give. I am so easily distracted and consumed by the things around me. My goals and not His become the focus. My plan and not His. I'll measure acceptance and worth by the worlds standards and forget that it is Only in Him that I can gain true acceptance and worth...I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Him and for Him. For His purpose. And although I am still frightened at the thought of sharing Christ here where it seems on the exterior that we can do it on our own, there was a shift in my heart. (Not that I have any authority to tell God where to put us.) Once again God, in grace, has shifted my heart and possibly prepared my heart for His plan and not mine. We still have no idea what that might be...but I guess secretly there was a part of me that wanted what I thought would be easier. (or not?)