I have to admit I was discouraged this week by a number of things and it was a weird week. I have been going to the women's ranch, ( a live in christian recovery program at our church ), once a month to share with the ladies and this time was tough. I was allowing myself to belief in the lie that there was no point in going. That this particular sin is so difficult to overcome, and I was only setting myself and my heart up for disappointment. I prepared anyway and went with a whole thing on faith. God showed me Hebrews 11 through Hebrews 12:4 (which by the way I LOVE Hebrews 12:4) And need I even say that of coarse God used it for the ladies....but I was convicted (as usual). I need to remember those who came before that did not question God, they just obeyed. By faith they did what they were told, not knowing the end or the outcome, but with the "conviction of things not seen" they just did it! I need to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus knowing that I may not see the end result of my time at the ranch (or where ever He asks me to go). Yes, many of these women, that I am coming to love, will fall and continue to live in pain and suffering because of their sin......... But that cannot and should not move me from obedience or faith in HIS ability to move anyone, anywhere..... Staying focused on what He has already done, and knowing that HE is not finished....I cannot limit HIM. We are as limited as it can come, but Jesus is not! So again God took a week of blah and made it such a sweet reminder of my need to stay at His feet, and continue to trust HIM regardless of what I can see...

Today's change of perspective started at my doctors appointment.....I took the kids with me. I definitely thought that was a mistake at first.....BUT when I saw the look on their faces as they waited to hear the heart beat of their brother/sister I was beyond blessed!!!!! What was even greater was that they brought out an ultrasound machine. Because I am only 11 weeks the doc didn't find the heartbeat with the little thingy, so we got to see the baby....
She let Donovan turn on the machine, Sal put the gel stuff on the scanner thing, and he got to put the scanner to my belly....Samantha was a little insecure and I think nervous about what they were doing to mommy... But when we saw the little baby and could see the heart pulsating they all loved it. They all kept touching the screen where the image of the baby was and guessing what part of the baby it was.....I am so excited about my real ultrasound they have some crazy tech now and the picture of the baby is soooooo detailed...(this one was an old machine you know the grey blob, but you know you've had enough kids when you can actually tell what the blob is....)
Well I have just been informed by my husband that this is a book and that no one will read it if it is soo long...so I will end it now....